We have heard about a lot of life issues here at The Sussy Project: individuals who have lost pets, brothers, sons, daughters; people who have been diagnosed with horrible diseases; children who have to become adults too soon. But this is our first time being introduced to a woman who fought back against domestic abuse.
Meet “Jen.” She was nominated by her friend Karie (who is now part of the Sussy Squad!) who wrote this:
I would like to nominate my best friend. I’m not sure where to begin as to why she should receive a Sussy. She has two children and recently left her husband. It was a tough decision because she was a victim of domestic violence for years and she had nothing of her own and a lot of fear. She was a stay at home mother who took great pride in being the best mother she could be. She would hide her pain and her hurt with her big smile – nobody would ever know she was suffering so much at the hands of the man who was supposed to love her the most.
Three months ago after a very serious incident of violence she knew she had to get out. She found a full-time job and a house and has been moving forward ever since. Her life has been nothing but stressful and sad but she continues to put on a brave face for her children. Jen’s life has changed drastically – from her day to day actions as well as financially. She struggles with the guilt of not spending enough time with her children and not being able to provide all the “things” they were use to prior to Jen moving out on her own.
She is the type of person who will help you no matter what is going on in her life. She is always there to listen and provide support even when her life feels out of control. She has been the best friend I could have ever asked for – she is always there encouraging me on and listening to me complain or tell a funny story. She has been such an amazing friend to me and I just wish at one point in her life she will truly be able to smile again and see she can and will be happy. Domestic violence is something I have never been around and when she finally opened up (and I saw first hand) I knew her strength was amazing – she wanted to protect her children and needed to move on.
Since Jen is as single mother now – money is tight. Her life is her two children – if she is chosen for a Sussy, I believe anything for the three of them would be appreciated. Maybe a gift card to Orange Leaf for a night out for yogurt – or maybe something just for her – she’s an avid coffee drinker so maybe a card to Starbucks. I know she will be great full for anything.
We reached out to Jen to let her know of her nomination, and to send her a Starbucks gift card. If anyone deserves a smile and some coffee, it’s her.
Here is her response:
I am extremely grateful for the Sussy surprise! My crazy schedule doesn’t allow a lot of time to surf the web or check my email unless I’m looking for something specific. So I assumed the email was just spam and never opened! Haha! Karie had to tell me I had important email.
Anyways, I am the one who should be nominating my best friend Karie for changing my life! Ever since the day she befriended me, I’ve been a happier and a better person. I would not be here bettering myself and kids without her support. I would’ve never been able to move forward without knowing she was right behind me pushing me through it. She has been my number one support and I’m eternally grateful! She really is the bestest friend ever.
It’s tough to make the decision to leave the only life you and your children know. When in a verbal or physically abusive relationship, you become used to it and numb to the fact that it’s not supposed to be that way. I was consumed by the idea that I could change someone, but in actuality, he could not and would not change.
It’s not easy yet and may never be but I know I made the right decision. Some days I may second guess myself but I have to remind myself that my sole responsibility in life is to provide a safe and healthy environment for my children. They are adjusting well and will be happier little children and adults someday.
Thanks for the Starbucks card! And thank you and love you mucho, Karie!!
I hope that if anyone out there is dealing with a similar situation, they can find strength in Jen’s. She is quite the inspiration.
Want to nominate someone for a Sussy? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Have you sussied someone lately? Who do you know that needs to be surprised by kindness? Do it today.